Tackling Mealtimes

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when you are trying to support someone with an eating disorder manage their food. 

Here is a handy guide written by a young person with Anorexia. Responding with little reminders whenever you see some of these behaviours can help the young person tackle it with your help.

Refusing food:

  • It’s ok to eat, everyone has to.

  • It is normal to eat

  • You deserve to eat

  • Your body needs it

  • You are stronger than you think

  • You can do it

  • We know you don’t want to do this. It’s not a choice.

  • You’ve worked through this before, you’re strong enough to do it again.

Hiding food:

  • I can see you’ve taken [x] from your plate. Please could you put it back and eat it?

  • I’m not cross with you, but I would like you to eat [x] which you have in your hand / pocket.

  • Could I replace the food you’ve removed from your plate with fresh food for you to eat?

  • It’s not going to help you in the long run.

  • It won’t make a difference if you eat [x]

  • It’s not a helpful habit

  • Can we work together so that you feel able to eat the food instead of concealing it?

Smearing, pressing or ‘spreading’:

Spreading is an unofficial term used to describe the spreading of crumbs and small bits of food that are pushed from the plate to the table, chair, floor, clothes etc.

  • Please could you eat all of your [x]

  • This isn’t going to help you in the long run

  • Those tiny bits really aren’t going to make a difference

Comments targeting abnormal eating habits are also helpful here

Abnormal eating:

This includes following rules such as cutting up food into tiny pieces, ripping apart finger food, picking apart a meal and eating food in a certain order among many others.

    • You can manage without that.

    • Please try not to do that.

    • You’ve got this far without that behaviour, you can manage to keep going.

    • It’s not going to help you in the long run.

    • Try to finish the meal without that behaviour.

    • Keep trying really hard to challenge the urge to do that.

    • I have full faith that you can manage without that.

    • I can see you’re trying really hard and you’re doing really well; just keep going with it without the behaviour.

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Parenting Differently

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Roadblocks To Listening